Why I hate "Streetwear"

This is going to be a ranty post about my least favourite trend of the last 2 years.

I wanted to like it. I tried so effing hard to like it but I just can't. I welcomed it with open arms but when it arrived I ran for the fucking hills. And I can't escape it. Nobody can escape it. What is it?

It's

That bandwagon that EVERY high street brand in every country has been jumping on.

So what is street wear exactly?

Street wear originally was a type of "urban uniform" worn by skaters and b-boys which was both fashionable and practical enough for both dossing around the streets and being physically active.

Recently [unfortunately] we have once again dragged another trend from the depths of the 90s and reworked it to our suit 21st century taste, while completely forgetting the origins and meaning on streetwear to begin with.

Want to look like a 14 year old English girl, well here we are! Let me talk you through possible outfit combinations

The left is a standard option, the right if for all you daring lot

Head: A beanie or snapback. Extra cool-points if the beanie is from a brand nobody has ever heard of. Snapback must be from Supreme.

Top: A tshirt varying from cropped to long. Can be worn in or out. Must be HUGE. Bonus points if the print is from your friends new streetwear brand on ASOS marketplace

Bottoms: Shorts cut like knickers. Don't like exposing your ass? Fuck you here have some leggings instead. Black leggings as pants are, like, so boring, hows about something in a hideous print from your childhood?

Legs: bare or socks of varying lengths

Shoes: BIG AND CLUNKY. The more they look like your school shoes when you were 5 the better.

Accessories: LOTS OF GOLD. Nothing says 'street' like a chain you bought from Primark. Want to feel authentic? Try one of those plastic neon tattoo necklaces and bracelets you had 50 of when you were 8. Feeling daring? Hows about some culturally appropriated bindis? Disrespecting other peoples culture for the sake of fashion is cute as hell

So why don't I like it? Let me tell you!

1. We spent the whole of the 2000s reflecting back on past fashion, why are we still doing it.

Philosopher George Santayana said this famous quite which I believes sums up my view on streetwear.

"Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it."

Did you see the key point it was trying to make? DOOMED. George is basically saying that the past is there for a reason and the reason we aren't still contunieing with those aspects from the past are because they are HORRIBLE MISTAKES.

All that sunflower print and tiki beads from your childhood are mistakes, and if you try wearing them again, you will die.

2.  I thought we left garish text print tops in 2007

Remember that Nu-rave trend that was nothing to do with rave at all where everyone wore t-shirts with dumb slogans on them? I certainly do. I only just got over how awful they were. 

Henry Holland was my least favorite person back then

This time round, text on clothes comes in the form of brand names splashed across everything. I know the y-generation aren't the brightest crayons in the box but come on, I think we can remember the names of the brands of our clothing.

Streetwear; insulting your intelligence. Also fuck you, I don't want to be a walking advert..

3. Cultural appropriation is gross.

Wearing bindis, Native American headdresses, hindu god prints, thawbs (traditional arabian clothing) etc because it makes you look "cute" or "edgy" is not cute or edgy. It's gross. It's rude and disrespectful to dilute someone elses' culture for the sake of your fashion choices. Don't promote it. Don't do it. I've seen so many street wear kids using those items and it makes me want to vom.

I know peace signs are appropriated, but still lol

4. It's become the new tracksuit

The chavs from late 90s to early 2000s were distinct for their pulled back hair and trackuits. The streetwear crowd is doing exactly the same thing except with tousled hair and mini-shorts that ride so high up your butt that you have booty-cleavage. It's become a uniform.

Don't let you ass 'do a Miley'. Poor booty.

5. YOU CAN'T ESCAPE IT

Every high street shop is doing their own variation of the look and unless you want to pay premium for clothes, you can expect to end up looking like a street wear clone for years to come.

Trends are born out of a change in the socio-cultural climate so there is a reason why streetwear has stuck around for so long. Whatever that socio-cultural change is, I want it to go away 5ever and present us with something new and magical.

The past 15 years of fashion have been a period of nostalgia for fashion from previous decades. When will we look to the future of fashion? When will we start to create a look which is signature to the current decade we're in? 

Let it end soon otherwise I will be opting to wear a bin bag for the rest of eternity.  

-back flips off cliff-