The end of Hibiscgyaru

After almost 2 years of existence, it was announced yesterday that it would be the end of Hibsicgyaru.

It was fun; really fun. Over this past year, I have met some of the most amazing and interesting people I have ever met. Everything that happened, the good and bad, was an amazing experience for me. I've learned so much about life, Gal and even myself. I loved every moment I shared with everyone and I don't regret anything that has happened at all.

It's strange how much a name and idea of members and leaders can bring up barriers between individuals but it does. There's pressure on everyone as a circle, as leaders there is immense pressure to be in charge and  keep everyone in the circle in order and happy, while also dealing with the pressure to live up to reputation and outsider expectations, and as members there's pressure to conform these group ideals.

Being able to control and manage people while keeping them happy is an incredibly hard thing to do as a leader and naturally, followers form barriers between themselves and leaders as individuals feel they have to suppress their personal views in fear of upsetting the balance of a group. This might work for a while, but in the long run, it is fatal.

I feel something incredibly important was lost along the way and that was trust; the trust that members wouldn't betray each other or the circle or bitch and the trust that everyone was honest but it's hard to do this while trying to truthfully maintain balance between everyone in the group.

Despite everything that might have been said and though, I really did love everyone in Hib with all my heart, this group contained some of the most amazing individuals I have ever met and they have all shaped me. I've had the best time of my life and will treasure every moment I had with them for the rest of my life. I am so thankful I was given the opportunity to meet so many people who share a common interest with me.

While I'm sad the group has ended, I think now was about the right time. it was good to end on a high. We didn't work as a group of leaders and followers but this isn't to say that we wouldn't work as friends.

Thanks to Eilish, Hib was possible and I was able to be connected with all these amazing people. She was incredibly dedicated to our circle and was super knowledgeable

Niiji was gentle but has a feisty side. His makeup was always amazing and he had a hilarious sense of humor. We spent a lot of time coming up with random ideas for meets and he always had me in stitches.

Caryn was like a cool mum,, she was cool, collected and stylish and she taught me not to fear growing up. Before I thought that as you get older, you lose your sense of fun, but now I realize you really don't.

Floz joined our group late on but fitted in well and bought a new enthusiasm to the group. She's incredibly innovative and has a vast knowledge of anything wig related, I really wish I got to know her better. ♥

Chiemi was absent from quite a few meets and I didn't see her as often as the others but she totally made up for it when she was. Chiemi was charmingly brash and I loved her crude humour XD

Polly was always super keen on bettering herself as a gal She always had new ideas about what our circle could do. She hated any conflicts in the group and acted as an argument diffuser and was just lovely in general ^_^

Kei just cracks me up. She was never awkward with anyone because she could talk about anything. She shared my love of Kpop and we'd fan-girl and dance together and fail at karaoke with me <3

Ananya is my wife for life. I never thought I'd meet someone who was so freakishly similar to me in almost every way but I am a fucking glad I have. We'd just sit for hours bouncing gross ideas off each other.

Ellie always surprised me with what she said. You could never predict what she was thinking and her wit is pure bloody genius. I loved hearing about her random university adventures and her life stories X,D

I'm sorry for anything bad I may have done to upset anyone know some people are annoyed right now but hopefully now the concept of a name and followers and leaders had been removed, we can actually focus on being individuals and friends.

I don't know what everyone will get up to in the future but I for one will not be joining any circles though I'll still be practicing gal style. As fun is it was, I want to be able to represent myself so if I do or say something wrong, the blame goes on me, nobody else.

 So ends another chapter in my life. Thank you everyone in Hib for being a part of it. I really REALLY honestly hope you can all still be part of my life and as Kei said, we still haven't had our AV gal meet yet X,D

Thank you everyone who follows me that supported my circle all this time ^_^ Please continue to support us individually in the future.

and here come the tears x,D

My surrogate family ♥